also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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