my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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