this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize