lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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