Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
