I can tuck mytits in my pants
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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