She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
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I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
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Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral