You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Only a mothe r could love this liver
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
