He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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