I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
