5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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