I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Randomize
