Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
