thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
