I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
