Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
