There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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