If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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