I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Redeem this text for a blowjob
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm too high and old for this...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
