I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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