So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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