I wish I could punch you in the face.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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