shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize