That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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