Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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