Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
