the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
