Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
