I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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