Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
