i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
