We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
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I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
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My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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