Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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