you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
