the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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