My brain says no but my pants say off.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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