I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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