it's like iHOP with fire
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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