There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
