he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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