just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
