so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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