he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
