Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
