Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
