As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
