Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
