his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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