ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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