butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize