Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
