So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
