ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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