You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
