i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i believe in u and ur pee
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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