I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize